15 April 2008
Addendum: Parenting Like Marriage
In my haste to write the previous post on marriage, I failed to acknowledge that the thoughts therein are not orginal with or exclusive to me. Most recently, Dr. Jim Coffield (a professional counselor and adjunct faculty at RTS) spoke on the specifics of seeing marriage as part of a larger (more meaningful) whole. During the conference, reference was also made to the book titled Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, in which he gives a fuller exposition of the themes that Dr. Coffield raised so winsomely. Of course, the Bible is their source, and it extols marriage in the greatest terms in many places, such as Genesis 1-3 and Mark 12:18-27 (cf. Matthew 22:23-33 and Luke 20:27-40), and Ephesians 5:22-33 (cf. Colossians 3:18-25). Other sources could be cited, but my point is to give Dr. Coffield his due: thanks, Dr. Coffield.
14 April 2008
How Parenting is Like Marriage
When my wife and I began having children, we believed that training them to obey us was the main goal. It wasn't until much later (our oldest was about 8) that we began to see obedience as a very poor end in itself. When we stopped believing that our children are "in training" for life till they're 18 or graduated, and started believing that they, just like every other person on the planet, is playing a role now in God's drama of redemption, our style of parenting changed a little, but the mood in our home changed a lot - and we began to enjoy each other more.
If perfect obedience is the goal, you'll be frustrated and angry every day - and I was for many years, it seemed. When loyalty (not perfection) becomes the goal (but only insofar as it's an end in a greater Goal - God's reputation in your home), set-backs and disappointments won't capsize the happiness of your home every night at dinner or bedtime, even though they still come almost just as frequently. You may also recognize that, as a parent, it's not all about you (or even your children or their future): it's about what God is showing the world about himself in your child's obedience or disobedience, and your response to it.
It was then that raising kids became fun and a joy for me.
The same can be said of marriage. The world needs more than obedient children, and it needs more than marriages that work: it needs to hear what marriage has to say about God, to see the greatness, beauty, and glory of God's covenantal love for his people. When marriage begins to take on Divine significance, it becomes interesting and meaningful, to say the least. When we begin to believe that our marriage, or children, or the yard, or neighbors, or puzzles on Saturday afternoons, or visiting invalids in nursing homes are all part of a larger move of God to say something to the world about himself and his glory and our place in it, things that formerly seemed insignificant, meaningless, or negligible begin to take on greater signficance and meaning, and are now worth the time and effort to do them well (i.e. diapers, groceries, neighborly chat, or a phone call).
The remarkable thing in all this is that by thinking less of obedience or marriage in themselves, they take on greater meaning and significance. When they cease to be the "end all", they begin to serve as ends to Christ as all in all. The meaning and significance we so much long for in the nitty-gritty of kids and marriage and work and friends will not appear until we see that, in themselves, they are nothing; but as they are players God's drama to display his glory as King and Judge and Lover of the world, they take on an eternal, incomparable, and wonderful significance.
Mind you, I don't hope for dirty diapers, dishes, or disobedience when I'm at home any more than I used to, but as they appear, the glory of God is not far away - and believing that makes all the difference.
If perfect obedience is the goal, you'll be frustrated and angry every day - and I was for many years, it seemed. When loyalty (not perfection) becomes the goal (but only insofar as it's an end in a greater Goal - God's reputation in your home), set-backs and disappointments won't capsize the happiness of your home every night at dinner or bedtime, even though they still come almost just as frequently. You may also recognize that, as a parent, it's not all about you (or even your children or their future): it's about what God is showing the world about himself in your child's obedience or disobedience, and your response to it.
It was then that raising kids became fun and a joy for me.
The same can be said of marriage. The world needs more than obedient children, and it needs more than marriages that work: it needs to hear what marriage has to say about God, to see the greatness, beauty, and glory of God's covenantal love for his people. When marriage begins to take on Divine significance, it becomes interesting and meaningful, to say the least. When we begin to believe that our marriage, or children, or the yard, or neighbors, or puzzles on Saturday afternoons, or visiting invalids in nursing homes are all part of a larger move of God to say something to the world about himself and his glory and our place in it, things that formerly seemed insignificant, meaningless, or negligible begin to take on greater signficance and meaning, and are now worth the time and effort to do them well (i.e. diapers, groceries, neighborly chat, or a phone call).
The remarkable thing in all this is that by thinking less of obedience or marriage in themselves, they take on greater meaning and significance. When they cease to be the "end all", they begin to serve as ends to Christ as all in all. The meaning and significance we so much long for in the nitty-gritty of kids and marriage and work and friends will not appear until we see that, in themselves, they are nothing; but as they are players God's drama to display his glory as King and Judge and Lover of the world, they take on an eternal, incomparable, and wonderful significance.
Mind you, I don't hope for dirty diapers, dishes, or disobedience when I'm at home any more than I used to, but as they appear, the glory of God is not far away - and believing that makes all the difference.
11 April 2008
Persons, Dignity, and Vindication
People are not just so many cattle. If cattle are mistreated, it is a shame to the abuser. My indignation, however, is not that this or that particular head of cattle was mistreated, but that cattle in general should not be so mistreated. If a human being is mistreated, my indignation is both with respect to human beings in general and that human being in particular. If every man and woman, boy and girl, has dignity, then their abuse (whether at home in private or in society and the public square) is an outrage not only because they are human, but because they are Robert or Cynthia, Bobby or Susie; their worth is personal and individual, not only collective.
I believe in heaven and hell and the final judgment of God on sin because human dignity is heavenly, human indignity is hellish and only God can judge. Someone may ask, "But if we stop racism or child abuse or genocide, won't that be enough to vindicate human dignity? Why bring God into it, not to mention heaven and hell?"
First, no one has ever stopped any of these abuses, they have only regulated them, and sins against human dignity are not OK just because I'm not suffering them. Second, suppose we could stop them: what's to prevent subsequent generations from resurrecting them again (especially since our present fight against them has been so difficult)? Third, my abhorance today of slavery or the Holocaust does nothing to affirm the worth and value of slaves or Jews to the dead and unrepentant slave owners or dead and unrepentant Nazis. There is a public vindication that is lacking without heaven and hell that we long for in all our calls for justice. We do not simply want to be vindicated in our own eyes of crimes and abuses against us, we also want the world to see that we are vindicated. And God promises such vindication (Luke 18:1-8, Matt. 25:31-46). Injustices that are righted are part of our joy, but not all of it. Those who are abused not only rejoice in the vindication of others (whether present or past), but they also long to participate in it by being vindicated of their own indignities as well.
The question I haven't addressed, though, is in what does human dignity consist? Why is human indignity so hellish? A worthy question to be handled later.
I believe in heaven and hell and the final judgment of God on sin because human dignity is heavenly, human indignity is hellish and only God can judge. Someone may ask, "But if we stop racism or child abuse or genocide, won't that be enough to vindicate human dignity? Why bring God into it, not to mention heaven and hell?"
First, no one has ever stopped any of these abuses, they have only regulated them, and sins against human dignity are not OK just because I'm not suffering them. Second, suppose we could stop them: what's to prevent subsequent generations from resurrecting them again (especially since our present fight against them has been so difficult)? Third, my abhorance today of slavery or the Holocaust does nothing to affirm the worth and value of slaves or Jews to the dead and unrepentant slave owners or dead and unrepentant Nazis. There is a public vindication that is lacking without heaven and hell that we long for in all our calls for justice. We do not simply want to be vindicated in our own eyes of crimes and abuses against us, we also want the world to see that we are vindicated. And God promises such vindication (Luke 18:1-8, Matt. 25:31-46). Injustices that are righted are part of our joy, but not all of it. Those who are abused not only rejoice in the vindication of others (whether present or past), but they also long to participate in it by being vindicated of their own indignities as well.
The question I haven't addressed, though, is in what does human dignity consist? Why is human indignity so hellish? A worthy question to be handled later.
09 April 2008
Would you have saved Jesus?
I was listening to a radio drama with my kids that portrayed the (mock) trial and execution of Jesus. In it, a boy who saw the injustice of it all screamed and yelled at people to "do something to stop it", and it hit me, would I have tried to stop it if I were there and saw how evil it was? But then, to stop it would have been to "gum up the works" of God's plan for the redemption of his people and the restoration of creation; surely those are good things, right? And yet, to stand by and let an innocent man die, the only truly man innocent of all things wrong and lawless in the world, would surely be presumptuous - "After all," I can hear myself saying, "God's going to save me by his death, so let him die so I can live." What kind of nonsense would that make?
It strikes me that the Gospels everywhere portray the disciples, the Jews, the Romans, and every other involved party as truly ingorant of the true significance of what was being accomplished in all this, and that's why they did nothing, ran away, or hid. The horror was too great to bear, but they had no means by which to oppose it. This may be why Jesus, when Pilate tries to pull rank with his "authority", says to Pilate two things that sound odd when juxtaposed: "You would have no authority if it were not given you from above," and "he who delivered me up to you has the greater sin." It's as though the human agent(s) delivering Jesus up to Pilate are to blame precisely because they are working from their own agenda and not God's - much like Assyria's role in the destruction of the northern tribes of Israel in Isaiah 10. God calls Assyria down, like a tool off the workbench, and then chastises it for it's arrogance in not recognizing God's greater purposes than Assyria's victory. God was at work to bring Assyria against his own people, just as he was at work to bring the Jews and the Romans against his Son. And yet, it truly was an evil event, for which the Jews, the Romans, and ultimately all of humanity are to blame. Paradoxically, Jesus's death, though evil, was glorious, because it demonstrated the righteousness of God over against the indignity we heap upon God and each other.
Maybe I'd hide like everyone else; maybe I'd become a martyr of sorts. Either way it goes, the abuse, torture, and murder of Jesus is paradoxically both an incomparably heinous evil and the wisdom of God: "...to those who are called, Christ [crucified is] the power of God and the wisdom of God." (1 Corinthians 1:21-25)
It strikes me that the Gospels everywhere portray the disciples, the Jews, the Romans, and every other involved party as truly ingorant of the true significance of what was being accomplished in all this, and that's why they did nothing, ran away, or hid. The horror was too great to bear, but they had no means by which to oppose it. This may be why Jesus, when Pilate tries to pull rank with his "authority", says to Pilate two things that sound odd when juxtaposed: "You would have no authority if it were not given you from above," and "he who delivered me up to you has the greater sin." It's as though the human agent(s) delivering Jesus up to Pilate are to blame precisely because they are working from their own agenda and not God's - much like Assyria's role in the destruction of the northern tribes of Israel in Isaiah 10. God calls Assyria down, like a tool off the workbench, and then chastises it for it's arrogance in not recognizing God's greater purposes than Assyria's victory. God was at work to bring Assyria against his own people, just as he was at work to bring the Jews and the Romans against his Son. And yet, it truly was an evil event, for which the Jews, the Romans, and ultimately all of humanity are to blame. Paradoxically, Jesus's death, though evil, was glorious, because it demonstrated the righteousness of God over against the indignity we heap upon God and each other.
Maybe I'd hide like everyone else; maybe I'd become a martyr of sorts. Either way it goes, the abuse, torture, and murder of Jesus is paradoxically both an incomparably heinous evil and the wisdom of God: "...to those who are called, Christ [crucified is] the power of God and the wisdom of God." (1 Corinthians 1:21-25)
Worthy Posts
Now that I've entered Blogdom, the pressure to write is incredible. I'm amazed how often I'm tempted to check my own blog just to see what else I've written. It reminds me of television: TV rarely ever just records or documents events, but instead usually creates events that television can then capture and broadcast. Haven't you ever felt the sensation when someone turns the camera on you at home, outside, or in the classroom? There you are, feeling perfectly natural and not under any scrutiny at all, and then someone (without warning) turns a camera on, and all of a sudden you feel like the world has just stopped to watch you finish cooking, or push your kid on the swing, or pack up your books; it never feels "natural" and almost always feels "staged". I feel like a broadcasting company that's bought airtime and is now looking for something with which to fill it.
Lest my posts become mere performances and cease to be thoughtful and substantive, I will refrain from posting for the sake of posting, and will instead strive to post only when I have something to say (and my wife has had her quota of Great Thoughts for the day). If I have nothing worthwhile to say (that is, in my view), you'll find nothing to read but old posts or comments from others (which may be better than the post).
This brings up a related issue. Sustained and focused dialogue on an issue is hard to come by these days, no less in person than over the Internet. Personal exchanges, I'm convinced, are far more constructive and enjoyable, but in a venue such as blogs, it is possible to carry on a substantive and focused exchange even without the advantages of body language, tone of voice, "back and forth", etc. In this regard, I welcome questions, queries, challenges, and/or objections to anything I post, and hope to honor any thoughtful comments that a reader may submit. Since I'm still the only one reading my posts, this is easily done:). In the future, I hope not to have it so easy.
Lest my posts become mere performances and cease to be thoughtful and substantive, I will refrain from posting for the sake of posting, and will instead strive to post only when I have something to say (and my wife has had her quota of Great Thoughts for the day). If I have nothing worthwhile to say (that is, in my view), you'll find nothing to read but old posts or comments from others (which may be better than the post).
This brings up a related issue. Sustained and focused dialogue on an issue is hard to come by these days, no less in person than over the Internet. Personal exchanges, I'm convinced, are far more constructive and enjoyable, but in a venue such as blogs, it is possible to carry on a substantive and focused exchange even without the advantages of body language, tone of voice, "back and forth", etc. In this regard, I welcome questions, queries, challenges, and/or objections to anything I post, and hope to honor any thoughtful comments that a reader may submit. Since I'm still the only one reading my posts, this is easily done:). In the future, I hope not to have it so easy.
07 April 2008
Double Meaning in Truth
In his book The End of Education, Neil Postman explains that the word 'End' in the book's title was deliberately chosen because it carries a double meaning: if education has no end, it will meet its end. So it is here. I chose the title "The End of Truth" because today, in the intellectual discussions of philosophy and epistemology in the West, "truth" as an objective reality has rapidly grown out of vogue and has been replaced by (an ironically dogmatic) epistemic and religious pluralism. Thus, Truth seems to many to have met its demise. And if God is true, then God has met his end. The issue of Truth, then, is no small issue, however difficult it is to tackle.
On the other hand, if Truth exists objectively, it exists as a testimony to that of which it speaks, whether of God or anything else; there is a purpose for its existence (beyond merely existing). That purpose, I believe, is so that all of humanity recognize and rejoice in the realities to which such truths point. In other words, all that is true is made true so that we will truly know something of reality, and in such knowledge will then offer a due response of affection back to God corresponding to such truth.
If Truth is, in fact, at its end, then there is no reality and everything is meaningless, for (ironically) there would still be one self-destructive truth: truth does not exist. However, if it is not at its end, then not only does it testify to something, but (having testified to some reality) it also calls for some response from those to whom it speaks. You and I are those who listen.
To love what we know is true about God and his Reality is the greatest joy in which we could participate, and this is precisely what he calls us to: our greatest joy founded on true knowledge. Questions of how we know things and which things we can know are inevitable and are worth addressing, especially for those who doubt my premises. But those questions are never ultimate, God is.
On the other hand, if Truth exists objectively, it exists as a testimony to that of which it speaks, whether of God or anything else; there is a purpose for its existence (beyond merely existing). That purpose, I believe, is so that all of humanity recognize and rejoice in the realities to which such truths point. In other words, all that is true is made true so that we will truly know something of reality, and in such knowledge will then offer a due response of affection back to God corresponding to such truth.
If Truth is, in fact, at its end, then there is no reality and everything is meaningless, for (ironically) there would still be one self-destructive truth: truth does not exist. However, if it is not at its end, then not only does it testify to something, but (having testified to some reality) it also calls for some response from those to whom it speaks. You and I are those who listen.
To love what we know is true about God and his Reality is the greatest joy in which we could participate, and this is precisely what he calls us to: our greatest joy founded on true knowledge. Questions of how we know things and which things we can know are inevitable and are worth addressing, especially for those who doubt my premises. But those questions are never ultimate, God is.
Trying to figure this out
Since I've been skeptical of the entire "blogging" phenomenon for the last few years, I'm reluctant to begin doing so now. However, I have my reasons, which may actually come out in subsequent posts. For now, I'll just experiment to see how this stuff works, and hope I don't embarrass myself (or anyone I know).
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